There’s someone I want to introduce you to. But first – do you notice anything here?
Yes, it’s the bookshelves!
As you might know, I love color (especially turquoise) and I love books. I arrange my books with each shelf coded by color – black, then blue, then red, then yellow, and so on.
It turns out, I am not alone.
As I logged in to record this week’s podcast episode with Dr. Tasha Eurich, the moment she came on screen, we both stared at each other. Our jaws dropped. Then we both smiled…
Tasha’s bookshelf was arranged horizontally by color, mine vertically.
I have a new friend.
We also both share a keen interest in self-awareness.
Improving my self-awareness was a key goal of mine in 2024, and Tasha focuses on this in her book, Insight. (Note the turquoise Insight book behind me on my bookshelf!)
Why self-awareness? Self-aware people are more successful at work. They’re better communicators and more confident and empathetic. They also raise more mature, less narcissistic children.
I’m in on all counts!
Tasha defines self-awareness as follows:
Let’s talk about our self-awareness.
3 Things to Talk About This Week
- A 2×2 self-awareness matrix
- How to become a self-awareness unicorn
- External self-awareness – listen-up, extroverts!
1️⃣ A 2×2 self-awareness matrix
Internal self-awareness is being aware of your thoughts, feelings, emotions, even your body.
External self-awareness is being aware of others around you and your impact on them.
Here’s a 2×2 matrix that maps these two types of self-awareness:
“Unicorns” are the rare people who score highly on internal and external self-awareness.
“Seekers” are low on both, have difficulty stating what they stand for and knowing or how others see them, and often feel stuck or frustrated with their performance and relationships.
“Introspectors” understand who they are, but don’t challenge their views or get feedback from others. (They often end up in big trouble!)
The “Pleasers” are so focused on appearing a certain way to others, that they can overlook what matters to them.
Where do you fall in this self-awareness matrix?
2️⃣ How to become a self-awareness unicorn
Do you want to improve your skills and become a self-awareness unicorn? Dr. Tasha Eurich has two exercises to help you take the first steps:
- Daily Check-In – every day, ask yourself three questions:
- what went well today?
- what didn’t go so well?
- how can I be smarter tomorrow?
- Dinner of Truth – developed by communications professor Jeff Meisner, the concept is to identify someone you want to improve your relationship with and invite them out for dinner (or lunch or coffee.) Then, ask them to be as honest as possible and answer one question: “What do I do that is most annoying to you?” Difficult? Yes. But helpful? ABSOLUTELY!
3️⃣ External self-awareness – Listen up, extroverts!
Self-awareness is important for everyone, whether you’re an extrovert or an introvert.
Recent research highlights how extroverts might want to step-it-up in terms of their external self-awareness, particularly when it comes to listening.
Research across six studies involving more than 2,400 participants consistently showed that people perceive extroverted individuals as worse listeners than their introverted counterparts.
Uh oh.
Read more about this, including what to do about it, in my latest article for Inc. Magazine.
There you go – 3 things to Talk About this week:
- A 2×2 self-awareness matrix
- How to become a self-awareness unicorn
- External self-awareness – listen up, extroverts!
If you’re looking for more reading on self-awareness, I highly recommend you check out Insight, by Dr. Tasha Eurich.
And, you can listen to more about self-awareness in Talk About Talk ep 174 on Apple, Spotify, YouTube, or wherever you listen to podcasts.
Have a great week.
Talk soon,
Dr. Andrea Wojnicki
executive communication coach
“Remarkable piece of content! 👏 Your expert analysis and clear communication make complex concepts easy to grasp. This is definitely going in my bookmarks.”