Top 10 Episodes: #3 & #4 - Talk About Talk

Are you looking to boost your communication skills and your executive presence? (I’m guessing yes, that’s why you read this newsletter!)

I have an invitation for you!

Please join me for a free LIVE training session focused on EXECUTIVE PRESENCE on Thursday, September 5th at 3pm ET.

Click HERE to register now. I’d ❤️ love to meet you there!

In addition to “executive presence,” one thing I’ve noticed about the most successful executives that I coach is that they are META-AWARE.

What do I mean by meta-aware?

Meta-awareness means thinking beyond yourself. It means thinking about the big picture, your objectives, the firm’s objectives, and also about other people – those in the room and beyond.

In this week’s newsletter, I have 3 specific suggestions for you on how you can elevate your meta-awareness.

Boosting Your External Self-Awareness
Being Other Focused
Consider What’s Taboo – for everyone

1️⃣ Boosting Your External Self-Awareness

Most of my clients agree that self awareness is critical to effective communication.

Most of my clients also claim that they are highly self-aware. This is not surprising!

Did you know that most people think they have higher than average self-awareness? However, research shows that only 10-15% of actually have high self-awareness. That’s a big gap.

Once we start talking about self-awareness, most of my clients also realize that when they think about self-awareness, they’re only thinking about internal self-awareness, not about external self awareness.

INTERNAL self-awareness is about introspection and being conscious of your feelings, emotions, desires, beliefs, and even your body.

EXTERNAL self-awareness is being aware of how we affect others and how we are perceived.

Both are important!

Folks who are meta-aware have high levels of both internal and external self-awareness.

When it comes to external self-awareness and improving your communication, here are 3 things to focus on:

Be empathetic. Scan the room, as they say. Scan others for signals about how you are impacting them. Be other-oriented. Tune in to others. Watch their body language. How are they responding to you?
Listen. Track the ratio of you talking versus others talking, listening in a truly collaborative way.
Ask for feedback! This is a great way to improve your external self-awareness and your communication. Ask people you trust and with whom you interact how you can improve your interactions. (It’s very meta.)If you’re interested in learning more about self-awareness, you can listen to ep.167, Self-Awareness and Communication (#4 in our Top 10 episodes of all time!). I also highly recommend the book INSIGHT by Tasha Eurich.

2️⃣ Being Other Focused

My friend, Jennifer Lee, Vice-Chairwoman at Deloitte stands out as an executive who creates impact by being other focused. Her insights on this topic are exceptional, which is probably why this podcast episode ranks #3 in terms of all-time downloads.

Jennifer is meta-aware. She deliberately cultivates an “other-focused” leadership style. When it comes to meetings or collaborations, she has a conscious discipline of role-modelling how to be inclusive and create impact.

Here are just a few of Jennifer’s actionable suggestions:

Focus on the CLIENT

Consider others’ communication preferences – How will they best absorb the message you’re communicating? A pre-issued deck, a one-page summary, and/or a verbal conversation?
Clarify the questions or topics your audience wants to cover and shift the agenda as needed.
Watch the clock – Don’t go into overtime. Be respectful of schedules.
Focus on the right questions – Take time to discover what the client really needs.
Let your client talk – By talking less, ironically, you can have a bigger impact.

Focus on the TEAM

Huddle before the meeting – so everyone knows what’s expected and what value they provide.
Establish credibility – Introduce everyone in the room and provide context so the client understands why they’re here.
Debrief – regroup and discuss what went well and what you can improve on. Create a learning environment for reflection and meta-awareness in your team.

Thank you, Jennifer!

3️⃣ Consider What’s Taboo – for everyone

“How to navigate taboo topics” is one of the most popular search terms on the Talk About Talk website.

Have you ever considered that what some people consider “taboo” is perfectly acceptable for others? Let’s take profanity, for example. Some people don’t think about it at all, and others find it highly offensive.

You can add to the conversation and check out what people say about swearing at work on LinkedIn and on Instagram.

As an effective, meta-aware communicator, you need to be conscious of others’ tolerance for various taboo topics. That why I wrote this article for Inc magazine.