Many of my clients come to me knowing there’s a communication issue or challenge that they need to fix. But just as often, I see talented professionals who have no idea they’re undermining their own credibility through subtle, damaging communication habits.
I’m often torn about whether to speak up (I wrote about that dilemma, and how I handle giving unsolicited advice recently on LinkedIn). But since you’re a subscriber, you’re in luck: I’m sharing some of the most common credibility-killing habits I see in the leaders I coach.
As you read through them, I encourage you to ask yourself: Could this be me?
1️⃣ Using weak, apologetic language
Have you ever started speaking with, “This might be a dumb idea…” or “Sorry, can I just say…?” This sort of weak, apologetic language immediately undercuts your authority.
Here’s a hack to cut this bad habit from your communication: Eliminate qualifiers.
- Replace “I think” with “I recommend.”
- Replace disclaimers with confident framing. “Here’s one idea to consider.”
- Eliminate “sorry.”
- Swap “maybe” for silence.
- Rather than filling space with uncertainty, embrace the power of a silent pause.
“Using weak, apologetic language” is just one habit on my list of 10 bad communication habits. Check out the list of bad habits here. Are any of your bad habits on the list?
2️⃣ Ignoring your listening skills
When you think of “communication,” what do you think about? Chances are, you focus on talking. Projecting.
If your communication focus is only on what you’re saying, you’re missing a critical element. Something that can quietly erode your credibility, no matter how polished your message is.
Listening.
Not just hearing others out, but high-quality listening. The kind of listening that builds trust, signals respect, and positions you as a thoughtful leader.
Beyond the “passive to active” dichotomy of listening, I call this collaborative or generative listening.
I broke down the science behind this overlooked skill, and how to master it, in a recent article, 3 Science-Backed Benefits of ‘High-Quality Listening’ for Inc. magazine. These insights are essential for any professional who wants to be seen as credible.
3️⃣ Allowing others to control your narrative
I recently hosted Ask Andrea Anything, a free live event where execs hit me with their biggest communication questions. The hot topic?
Controlling your narrative.
Letting others shape your personal brand kills credibility. I shared real talk and actionable tips on taking back control and showing up with confidence.
You can catch the replay of this Ask Andrea Anything on YouTube. Think of it as free coaching!
If you only remember one thing…
When it comes to improving your credibility (and most things in life!), it’s your growth mindset that will set you apart.
What exactly does this mean?
- Believing that your efforts will result in change and improvement (as opposed to a fixed mindset, where your skills are fixed).
- Being internally self-aware. Being curious about your thoughts, feelings and physicality.
- Being externally self-aware. What impact am I having on others?
By the way, I’m certain you possess a growth mindset already, otherwise you wouldn’t be reading this newsletter!
How to remember new habits
Once you’ve ditched your bad communication habits, I have a few tricks up my sleeve for adopting new, positive ones.
My go-to is to write it down, and make it visible. I look at my Notes app 20+ times a day, so if I want to be reminded of something often, like a new mantra or a phrase to include in my introduction, I add it to the top of my to-do list in Notes. After just a couple days, it’s committed to memory.
I hope this list of communication missteps sparks some honest self-reflection—and encourages you to replace old habits with stronger, more effective ones.
If you have any friends or colleagues who are eager to boost their executive presence too, forward this newsletter to them. But maybe give my post on giving unsolicited advice a review first. 😂
Talk soon,
Dr. Andrea Wojnicki
executive communication coach