What comes to mind when you see me cross my arms?
You might think I’m defensive. Or maybe you think I’m irritated, or angry at you, and now you’re spiraling about what YOU did, all because my arms are crossed.
Or maybe you know a thing or two about body language, and you’ve learned that…
- Body language myths are oversimplified
- Humans tend to default to negative interpretations when data is insufficient (you don’t know what’s going on in my head, so you’re creating a negative interpretation of the one thing you can see: my crossed arms).
- Survival instinct drives our social judgments.
In short: humans are pretty terrible at reading body language.
This is how world-renowned body language expert Mark Bowden explained the error of making assumptions about someone who’s crossed their arms.
Voted multiple times Global Gurus’ No. 1 Body Language Professional in the world, Bowden helps audiences maximize the power of using their own body language to stand out, win trust, and gain credibility.
But back to crossed arms… In the latest Talk About Talk podcast, ep. 191, Bowden explained that there are well over 30 reasons someone might cross their arms (he stopped counting at 30!). So concluding that someone’s feeling defensive when they cross their arms is not a safe assumption.
My conversation with Bowden was not at all what I expected. Which is exactly why I love interviewing guest experts.
Here are three key takeaways that influenced how I’ll be using my own body language moving forward, and how I’ll reconsider what it means when I perceive others’ body language:
1️⃣ Show your open palms at navel height
I asked Bowden what he thinks about my 3-point body language scan. He said, “It’s great!” However….
There’s ONE thing that Bowden tells his clients and his audiences to focus on in terms of their body language. It’s this: “open palms, navel height.”
This simple gesture signals that you’re trustworthy and vulnerable because you’re not hiding anything. Bowden says it’s the single most powerful nonverbal cue to build credibility and influence. It’s about more than just your hands, it’s about inviting connection by exposing your center of gravity and opening yourself up to others.
You can see Bowden in action, employing “open palms, navel height” in the YouTube clip of our interview.
2️⃣ We’re wired to focus on risk and survival
Our brains are constantly scanning others for signals. When people see open palms at navel height, their instinct says, “This person is safe.” That primal wiring means leaders who keep safety top of mind can better connect with their teams, even when the goal is thriving, not just surviving.
3️⃣ Rethink body language myths
We already talked about crossed arms. Crossed arms don’t always mean defensiveness. They can mean lots of things, like being in deep thought or just feeling cold!
This isn’t the only body language myth. How about this one: “Mirror others.”
According to Bowden, we shouldn’t blindly mirror others. Imagine the person you’re mirroring leans back. Then you lean back. Then they do… Suddenly you’re both on the floor!
Instead, mirror only the positive signals you want to encourage. They nod, you nod, they nod… They smile, you smile…
If you only remember one thing…
Leaning into the camera during virtual calls is a major power move.
During our conversation, Bowden had his mic right up by the camera and leaned in while talking, which gave his teachings serious gravitas. Plus, he used his hands like a conductor, guiding the conversation. Check out the YouTube video of our conversation and you’ll see exactly what I mean.
Recently I saw Trevor Noah do the same thing when I saw him live. He leaned in and used his hands lot.
Sitting back can come off as checked out, even if it’s just your room setup. So, lean in, and use those hands!
Going on vacation? What is your OOO email response communicating about you?
Most of us don’t take the time to customize our out-of-office email response. This is a lost opportunity.
Recently, I wrote a LinkedIn post about this and it went viral!
Previously, I didn’t give my OOO email response a second thought. Then someone asked whether this was an example of how we communicate our personal brand. Yes, it is!
Even while you’re relaxing on the beach, your OOO reply can bolster your brand and show a little personality. Check out the post here.
Back to body language.
Bowden’s insights remind me how powerful and nuanced nonverbal communication really is, and how we can all get better at tuning into and using these signals intentionally.
And if you haven’t already, listen to the full Talk About Talk podcast with Mark Bowden, ep.191 on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Or you can watch us on YouTube!
If you’ve been cultivating your personal brand without considering your body language and how it plays a part, you’re leaving more than your elbows on the table!
Talk soon,
Dr. Andrea Wojnicki
executive communication coach